


You Won't Fall to Pieces

by Nuanta



Category: Free!
Genre: Fluff, Friendship, post episode 12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-19
Updated: 2014-09-19
Packaged: 2018-02-17 23:06:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2326436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nuanta/pseuds/Nuanta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The moment he sees Haru standing in front of the door, time stands still. Makoto’s aware of his own sharp intake of breath, and also that his body has forgotten how to move. He simply stares wide-eyed at the boy in front of him, watching as Haru shuffles his feet slightly, hands in his pockets, backpack sagging unevenly, face pointed firmly downwards. He doesn’t miss the quick, bashful glance upwards, eyes darting quickly back downwards when they unexpectedly meet. </p><p>“The twins…” Haru mutters, and Makoto leans in slightly to hear him. “I told the twins I’d come eat here next time.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Won't Fall to Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by a headcanon I woke up with on the morning of episode 12 that I posted on tumblr:
> 
> "haru getting back from australia and going straight to the tachibanas’ residence because he promised the twins he’d have dinner with them next time
> 
> makoto answering the door and simply beaming down at haru because he knows this means they will be able to talk later once the twins are in bed and that everything’s going to be all right again"
> 
> I also wanted them to talk and I really wanted a hug so there you go.
> 
> Title taken from the song "Porcelain" by Marianas Trench. Lyrics: "When your heart releases, you won't fall to pieces. You'll let those old diseases lie." The whole song pretty much sums up how I feel Makoto thinks of Haru. He's patient and willing to give Haru the time and space he needs to figure himself out, and he'll be there for him whenever Haru needs it. 
> 
> This is my first time writing a fanfic in YEARS and also my first time writing in present tense (I don't even know why). I was also half-expecting it to descend into smut but it actually stayed fluffy the whole way through (go me?). I also didn't take much time to edit so whatever, I just wanted to get this written and out of my system. Goodness knows I have enough feels to deal with for these two!

Everything feels lighter, somehow. Even when Haru parts ways with Rin at the end of their trip, the sensation lingers. He knows why, of course, but he’s never felt this way before and this alien sensation is fascinating and overwhelming and welcome to him all at once. He’s acutely aware of what might almost be a skip in his step as he continues home, leaving behind a low but beautiful sun.

Which is why he undoubtedly notices when the feeling diminishes as he turns to climb those familiar steps. He’s been climbing them all his life, in a routine so practiced that sometimes he doesn’t even realize they’re there. Now, though, his body hesitates to make that next step, and there’s a sinking feeling in his stomach. His backpack sags and he wonders when it became so heavy.

He trudges upwards until his body betrays him, stopping in that one spot where the air is thick with an all-too recent sensation of dread. All at once, the memories come flooding back to him.

_“I’m done talking about that.”_

_“No, wait. I didn’t mean –”_

_“I’m fine with the way things are!”_

_“But you’re not fine!!!”_

_“All you ever do is meddle with everyone! Stop sticking your nose in everyone else’s business!”_

_“I’m going to a university in Tokyo.”_

There’s a hollow feeling in his chest that won’t go away now, and he suddenly finds himself back in that familiar, heavy darkness, not unlike the one that threatened to consume him before Rin showed up at his door. He supposes, with a long and heavy sigh, that maybe he isn’t quite free just yet.

-

Makoto is helping his mother set the table when the doorbell rings. He stops midway through placing a fork next to a dish and exchanges a glance with her, a glance that is clearly asking who could possibly be ringing them up at dinnertime.

“I’ll get it, Mom,” he says, hastily placing the rest of the utensils in a pile at the edge of the table. “Don’t worry, I’ll finish setting the table in a moment!” he calls down the hallway. Whoever it is at the door, it surely won’t take long. He reaches the entrance door and opens it.

The moment he sees Haru standing in front of the door, time stands still. Makoto’s aware of his own sharp intake of breath, and also that his body has forgotten how to move. He simply stares wide-eyed at the boy in front of him, watching as Haru shuffles his feet slightly, hands in his pockets, backpack sagging unevenly, face pointed firmly downwards. He doesn’t miss the quick, bashful glance upwards, eyes darting quickly back downwards when they unexpectedly meet.

“Oh, uh, um, hi. Haru,” is all he can manage when he finally regains his voice.

“Hey,” comes the toneless response. Haru seems determined not to look at him.

“Did you just get back from Australia?” What a stupid question, Makoto inwardly chides himself, of course he did, he’s still carrying all of his things. “What are you doing here?” And another one. If this keeps up he’ll just end up babbling nonsense, but he doesn’t know that he’ll be able to stop himself.

“The twins…” Haru mutters, and Makoto leans in slightly to hear him. “I told the twins I’d come eat here next time.”

It takes a moment for the words to register, but when they do, his mouth goes dry and all the tension in his muscles releases. He blinks hard when he realizes that tears are welling up in his eyes, thankful that Haru hasn’t noticed. He’s not entirely sure what happened in Australia, but he knows what Haru’s presence tonight means. He knows that they’ll have a nice dinner with the family, and then later when the kids are in bed, he and Haru can talk – properly this time.

He’s so lost in his own jumble of thoughts and emotions that he starts when Haru speaks again, interrupting what must be an awkward silence for him. “…Is that all right?”

Makoto simply beams, because he knows that everything is going to be okay now. “Of course!” he gushes. “The twins will be so happy to see you.” He moves aside and motions for Haru to enter, but then he pauses.

“Welcome home, Haru.”

-

Haru can’t help but feel slightly guilty when he enters the Tachibana residence, leaving his backpack flopped over on the ground in the entranceway. Makoto’s sure smile does manage to dissipate some of the tension in his shoulders, but he can’t help it when Mrs. Tachibana hurries to set an extra place at the table for him, even when she gushes that it’s so lovely to see him and that it’s no trouble at all, that Haru’s always welcome here and he’s basically part of the family and his timing couldn’t have been more perfect. The feeling quickly fades when the twins catch wind of their guest and come running down the hall to hug him.

The atmosphere at the dinner table is lighthearted and filled with excited chatter. Haru is bombarded with questions about his trip to Australia. He tries in earnest to answer their questions, but he keeps his responses short. The twins press for more details, and Haru is grateful when Makoto gently reminds them that Haru won’t be able to eat if they keep talking to him. Not that it really matters, though. He doesn’t have much of an appetite.

Haru insists on helping with the dishes when they’re done. Makoto stays with him, of course, and once that’s taken care of they treat the twins to a few rounds of their favorite racing game and a movie. He can’t help but crack a fond smile when Ren falls asleep in his lap, breathing lightly into his chest. It’s warm and comforting, and part of him wishes they could just stay like this all night. Once the movie’s done, though, he helps Makoto carry the twins to bed, and they retreat to Makoto’s room.

That’s when the empty feeling in the pit of his stomach returns. Haru bites his lip and blinks several times as Makoto takes a seat on the bed and motions for him to do the same. He briefly glances towards the door and hesitates, flexing and curling his fingers. Then he sighs softly and joins Makoto on the bed, careful to ensure he sits on the edge. He stares at the floor, but steals a glance in his friend’s direction.

Makoto sits serenely on the bed, fingers loosely clasped in his lap. He’s wearing that soft, gentle smile he does so well, and Haru wonders how he can seem so calm right now. He wishes he had that ability, too. He wishes he was somewhere else. He wonders what made him decide to do this. But he knows the emptiness won’t go away until he does.

Haru fails to find words to break the silence. He bends over with his elbows on his knees, keeping his head low to hide his burning cheeks. He knows he’s never been good with words, but somehow this feels actually impossible.

It’s Makoto who speaks first. “So, Haru,” he says softly, prodding gently, “did you find what you were looking for in Australia?”

Haru stiffens, but he forces himself to jerk his head up and down in response. When Makoto lets out a sigh of relief and murmurs, “I’m so glad,” his pulse quickens and his breathing hitches.

“Even now,” Haru chokes out, his voice hoarse for some reason. His entire face is burning. “Even now, the first thing you do is worry about me. Why?”

“Because you’re my friend, and –” Makoto breaks off suddenly and looks away. “Ah. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t meddle.”

Haru’s stomach drops and a wave of nausea sweeps over him. He looks up desperately, wishing Makoto would look back at him again. “No,” he says urgently. “You shouldn’t be sorry for anything. I should never have said that, Makoto, I didn’t mean it, I –” But he can’t continue. The words that were just tumbling out of him stop, and he sinks lower into the mattress.

“It’s okay,” Makoto says kindly. “I’m not upset at you." 

“But why not?” is all he can say in response.

“You were in a dark place, Haru,” Makoto says in a low and serious voice, and he sounds truly upset for the first time tonight. “You were lost, angry, and confused. Seeing you like that hurt, but I was never upset at you. I just wished that I didn’t have to see you that way, that you could find your way out.”

“I did,” Haru blurts out. He looks up and they lock eyes, and he can see his own wide, pleading eyes reflected in Makoto’s steady gaze. Makoto needs to see, needs to know what he’s thinking. He wishes he could find the words.

Makoto understands. He breaks into an easy smile, and Haru finds his throat has grown thick with emotion. He doesn’t know who started it, but the next thing he’s aware of is his arms around Makoto’s, clutching at the back of his shirt, and Makoto’s arms around Haru.

“I’m sorry,” Haru whispers, and suddenly the words come pouring out again. “I’m sorry for worrying you. I’m sorry for saying those things. I’m sorry for hurting you. I never wanted any of that to happen.”

“I know, Haru,” Makoto answers softly, and he squeezes Haru gently in his embrace. “I knew that all along. So it’s okay.”

Haru lets out a rattling sigh, and warmth washes over him. He lets Makoto hold him in silence, leaning his head against his best friend’s chest even when he relinquishes his grip on Makoto’s back.

This time, Haru is the one who breaks the silence. Face still pressed against Makoto’s shirt, he says, “So… You’re going to Tokyo?”

“Ah. Yeah,” Makoto answers. “I would have told you sooner, but I wanted to make sure you’d be okay.”

“Why Tokyo?”

Makoto sighs. “I guess I needed to start thinking about myself for a change, and my own future,” he says. “I had the idea in my head months ago, honestly, but I wasn’t sure I could follow through with it. For the longest time, I didn’t think I’d be able to survive without Haru. But when I raced you in prefecturals, when I saw you set that tournament record with Rin, I guess I realized that maybe we were meant for different paths.”

Haru sits motionless in Makoto’s embrace as the heavy truth of those words sinks in, but for some reason, it doesn’t hurt quite as much as he thinks it will. _If it’s what Makoto wants…_ He mutters, “You sure you’re okay with this?”

Makoto actually chuckles. “Yep! Besides,” and something in his voice makes Haru look up, “there’s that expression that goes, ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’.”

And as Haru stares wonderingly into that beautiful, loving smile, everything seems to click into place.


End file.
